Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Let's Play "ObamaCare Cliche Bingo"

I hope no one tried to make tonight's speech by Obama to the joint session of Congress into a drinking game. That would have been  dangerous and could have caused alcohol poisoning or even death. Instead I tried a little game of "ObamaCare Cliche Bingo."

Earlier today I wrote down some ObamaCliches that I was pretty sure he would revert to tonight. Now that the speech is over (yawn--there's good reason why people turn these speeches into drinking games, it's so tedious to sit through them otherwise--50 minutes, are you kidding me?). Here's how I did. Actually, I got so many of them that I'm pretty sure I could have written this thing myself.
  • this nation was facing the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression. Darn, I missed that one. I should have at least gotten "economic crisis."
  • breaking point. Another one missed. I'm not doing too well so far.
  • 30 million Americans who cannot get coverage. Hey, that's not fair. Always before, it's been 47 million people without coverage. I cry foul. I was all ready for that one. OK, Barry, if you promise to pay attention, we'll try this one more time, although I don't have much hope that you'll get it this time, either. Twelve million of the 47 million uninsured are eligible for Medicaid or S-CHIP but haven't enrolled; ten million make up illegal and legal immigrants and people who make enough money to buy insurance but choose not to do so; leaving 14 million Americans who can't afford health insurance. So give every one of those 14 million some sort of health insurance voucher, and LEAVE MY HEALTH INSURANCE ALONE. Obama's numbers are going in the right direction, but he's not there yet. Anywho, I'm gonna give myself a cliche for that one.
  • the uninsured who live every day just one accident or illness away from bankrupt-ceh. Cliche! Here's my line: Families pushed into bankrupt-ceh. He wasn't using his faux-folksy "accent" tonight, though. I think that might have been one reason why he never seemed to really get into a groove.
  • give us time to do it right. Cliche! My line: We've gotta get this right.
  • If we do nothing to slow these skyrocketing costs. My line: Health premiums skyrocketing three times faster than wages. I can only give myself half a cliche for that one. I should have gotten the "if we do nothing" false dichotomy ("nothing" or "ObamaCare") that he loves to use. But I knew his speechwriters couldn't resist "skyrocketing"--they use it in every health care speech.
  • insurance premiums have gone up three times faster than wages. Oh hooray, I got that one in the line above. So with one line I got a cliche and a half. Not bad.
  • Now, these are the facts. Nobody disputes them. Well, I was close. I think I can give myself a cliche. My line: The experts all agree. See, it's a darn good thing this wasn't a drinking game--I would have been out cold by now. As it is, my Cliche Bingo card is filling up fast.
  • I've said. . . Oops, you know he wanted to say it--As I've said many times before--but he caught himself. So no cliche. Good one, Obama. Your guys were looking out for you on that one, since one of your biggest problems is that you've said all of this "many times before."
  • And every day, 14,000 Americans lose their coverage. Cliche! 14,000 Americans losing health insurance every day. So at that rate, let's see, 300 million divided by 14,000 = OK, so in about 21,000 days then, not a single one of us will have health coverage. Seriously, that's one of the most intellectually dishonest lines he uses when he talks about health care. 14,000 lose their health care every day; how many thousands are put on new health care policies every day? But of course nobody calls him on this stuff, since the liberal media is so enthralled with his delivery that they don't bother with content. Frankly, I've never gotten that "great orator" thing about Obama--but I digress.
  • Those who do have insurance have never had less security and stability than they do today. Cliche. People need to be assured of security and stability. That's one of his "new" themes--I knew for sure he would use those words somewhere in the speech, but I thought he would go to that well more often.
  • The time for bickering is over. The time for games has passed. I certainly should have had that one. No cliche for me. Seriously, "games"? Is that what he thinks the debate over a 1,300-page bill that would take over one-sixth of our economy is--GAMES? I can't believe he says this stuff, but it's a staple in his speeches: "If you don't agree with me, then sit down and shut up."
  • Nothing in our plan requires you to change what you have. Finally, he's changed up that tired old lie that he's used in these health care speeches at least 100 times. I'm giving myself a cliche for it anyway. If you like your health care, you can keep your health care. Heh. Nothing "requires" you to change--except maybe if your company drops its employee health insurance, then you'll be changing, like it or not.
  • Now is the time to deliver on health care. Cliche again. The time to act is now. Honestly, I could have written this speech. Tonight was a pathetic wasted opportunity.
  • our beloved friend and colleague, Ted Kennedy. Cliche. Remember Ted Kennedy. And he certainly did, since he spent six (6) paragraphs on Kennedy. They also had his widow, Vicki Kennedy, sitting beside Michelle Obama, so every shot of Michelle also included Vicki's tragic face. I have nothing against Vicki Kennedy; I'm sure she loved her husband very much, and it must be a difficult time for her. But these Obama people are shameless exploiters. I'm surprised they didn't have 17 diabetics sitting in a row with "chopped off limbs."
  • there's an agreement in this chamber on about 80% of what needs to be done. I should have had that one, since it's one of his "new" lines and he seems to have such a thing for numbers. No cliche.
  • closer to the goal of reform than we have ever been. Cliche! We have never been this close. That's my new favorite ObamaCare cliche. I knew he wouldn't disappoint.
  • Instead of honest debate, we've seen scare tactics. Cliche again. The special interests are trying to scare the heck out of people. Obama, the only one afraid of honest debate is you. Man up, bro.
The only interesting moment of the night came when Representative Joe Wilson (R, South Carolina) yelled out "Liar" at one point during the speech. The furious shock on Nancy Pelosi's face almost made it worthwhile, listening to yet another nothing-new speech by Obama. Frankly, I didn't think Pelosi could show that much emotion with her plastic face. Unfortunately, Wilson later apologized, for what, I'm not sure, since he certainly wasn't wrong. I'm thinking his mother made him do it.* “This evening I let my emotions get the best of me when listening to the President’s remarks regarding the coverage of illegal immigrants in the health care bill. While I disagree with the President’s statement, my comments were inappropriate and regrettable. I extend sincere apologies to the President for this lack of civility.” So when does Nancy Pelosi apologize to all the people who attended town hall meetings who she called "Nazis"? I'm still waiting for that apology.

Considering that not 30 seconds before this, Obama had just finished calling Sarah Palin, a "prominent politician"  (his term) a liar, I don't quite "get" their shock and dismay (actually, Obama, Sarah Palin is a private citizen, so calling her out is a little bitchy on your part): "It is a lie, plain and simple," said Obama, which caused the obligatory standing "seal clap" from his Democrat sycophants.
Actually, I'd like to see the House be more like the English House of Commons, where this sort of bad behavior and shouting out happens all the time.
*Update: Evidently, Obama's Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel, called for Joe Wilson to apologize: An incensed White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel went up to GOP Reps. Roy Blunt (Mo.) and Paul Ryan (Wis.) to complain about the outburst. "No president has ever had that happen," Emanuel said. "My advice is he apologize immediately. You know my number."

Rahm Emanuel, a childish whiner. I guess Joe Wilson didn't want a dead fish sent to his office, so he apologized.

Update #2: Joe Wilson's campaign for 2010 has received $700,000 in donations since his "Liar" outburst.

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